Monday, November 3, 2008

continuation of Smthg Always Happen at This Time of Every Year

In 2003 I remembered that I shifted house to Taman Equine but not to K.Sam’s house. This was due to K.Tun needed a break, in great conflict.

In 2005, I moved to K.Sam’s house as it is empty (she went back to kampong to raise Raha there) and I was waiting for my own flat house to be ready (hopefully by the end of that particular year! Yup! I bought it via an auction!! What an experience! It was actually a birthday present for myself J

Anyway, I am writing for 2008 of course! As I was writing it early, it did not cover for what happen in October. Yes, I knew Boss wanted to take me to MOSTI (even when I was in UK!) and she even made a pact with Dato Max that if she goes, I go too. Apparently her part has settled! She has received all the proper documentation from JPA while my case is still hanging! Yup, even though I agree to go, I guess it was because I was fed with the idea that if I stay, I’ll work directly for ‘him’. And that freaks me! Thus, I said YES to boss! However, I have my doubts. This is exactly like 2 years ago when I was supposed to go to MIROS huhuhu. Dejavu…

I understood the scenario : Even though at this point those people involved said ok for me to go, I am not surprised if they change their minds: new boss needs me to comprehend the job, thus, they need me there - putting the interest of the university as top priority as a friend bluntly told me. Therefore, I am not sure of what will happen to me next!! Just wait and see!

KSU asked Boss why she wants to take me along. Apart from saying that if she has to be in meetings all day, I could start working.. she said that I am actually her ‘check and balance mechanism’, that I am able to point out her mistake and rectify it. (She has got to be kidding me!!) I am deadly scared.. I think in UPM I am doing it ok because I am familiar with the environment and I have strong support for I could trust the info I got (thanks mostly to suppu hehehe) and I know that the goal for it is for the benefit of the university. But MOSTI is totally a different setting and the most importantly, who’s gonna be my level-headed informer? Huhuhuhu.. I am also worried if I could not fit the shoes. What am I supposed to do then? Boss has painted a picture of me as superwoman.. I bet they are all anxious to meet who Azizah is… Whoooaaaaaaaaaa……

From the eyes of the outsider, this may look to be a very good opportunity. I have to agree with them only to certain extent!! I am not sure if I am ready for this kind of change. My learning curve should be 90 degrees.. Am I up to it?? Huhu. And reminders from those whom I asked if I should go or not – ensure that when I come back, UPM would give me the same rank as what MOSTI would give me. And who am I to ensure that? I don’t have the answers!! And I do not want to be making that as one of the factors hindering me from going there – that probably would be the last reason… and coming back strategy to UPM after 2 years?? Nak buek camno tu?? Huhuhu.

So, the ultimate question is : ????